Let’s Taco ’bout Love

Happy Taco Tuesday!  I recently saw a meme online explaining The 5 Love Languages in terms of tacos.  Of course, as soon as I saw it I had to share it with my friend Monica who enjoys all things taco, plus I personally thought it was cute and funny.  The more I thought about it though, the more I realized that the taco metaphor was really a great way to explain my own relationship with The 5 Love Languages.

If you are not familiar with The 5 Love Languages, it started out with a book The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts® by Gary Chapman.  Although I am long divorced now, I received the book as a wedding gift and skimmed it but didn’t think it was something I needed (hindsight is, as usual, 20/20).  The basic premise is that there are 5 Love Languages: Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.  Everyone has a primary preference for which “language” makes them feel loved, and there is usually a primary way or two that we express our love, although what we express does not always align with what our partner prefers to receive.  Of course, this is where being aware of what your partner’s preferences are come into play so you can ensure you are expressing the language of love they prefer and they can also understand that your default primary expression of love is indeed an important language of love to you.

Although I fluffed off the original book, the concept stuck with me and I revisited the 5 Love Languages years later in the form of The 5 Love Languages Singles Edition® also by Gary Chapman.  This book explores how one can apply the 5 Love Languages to any relationship, whether friends, your parents, your children, other family members, your coworkers, and dates.  This time I actually read the whole book and did some thoughtful introspection in order to understand myself better as well as improve my relationships in life.

I discovered that my primary Love Languages are Quality Time and Acts of Service.  I feel most loved when someone spends quality time with me, and secondarily when someone does something thoughtful for me where the act was specifically with me in mind.  Along with this, and what Gary Chapman writes about, is that often what you prefer to receive is what you prefer to express.  And this is where the tacos come in.  With thoughtful introspection of this taco meme, I realized that the monthly dinner parties I’ve been hosting for friends is my way of expressing my love to them.  I am spending time with them during the dinner party (“let’s go out for tacos together” or in this case let’s get together for tacos) as well as doing an act of service by planning and creating the entire meal for them (“I made you tacos”), and I enjoy every minute of the time we spend together as well as the planning and cooking.  Going beyond that even, I realized that I can extend this to myself and taking loving care of myself by spending quality time with myself doing things I enjoy like planning and cooking great meals, and also nourishing myself by cooking and eating good and healthy food.

No recipe today, but would love to hear what your “taco love language” is in the comments!  I also recommend checking out Gary Chapman’s The 5 Love Languages books; there are different versions that speak to different people and relationships, as well as other books about relationships.

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